He’s Just Not That Into You..or He’s Just That Intimidated, Sis!

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Hey you. Yeah you. The one sobbing and crying constantly checking your phone to see if you have a miss call or a text. You’ve already sent him 3 messages before he has even responded. You’re checking his page constantly and seeing whose photos he’s liking as you dwell in self pity. Okay. STOP IT! Pull yourself together and let it go like Elsa.. (Insert cheesy song from Disney’s Frozen here __________.)

Women go into overthinking mode and an ego reduction once they feel a guy has lost interest or has pulled away. Maybe it’s not you, maybe it’s him, maybe it’s you or…maybe he’s just intimadated. Have you ever thought of that? Men are very nervous at times and they don’t show it. I have had this happened to me in 2011; especially where some guys used to ghost me. The weird thing was that they even told me they felt intimadated because I was beautiful or was an author.

Total opposite and confusing right? 🙄

It seems backwards, right? Yes I know. I would think that being beautiful and doing something that showcased my talent wasn’t anything to make anyone scared; but sometimes it does. (For the scary guys who were afraid of chances, yeah.) So before you rest your head on your tear soaked pillow self sabotaging yourself, keep in mind that THAT could be a reason as to why your knight in shining armour ghosted you. (or has pulled away.) Sometimes people have things going on in their lives, but if they wanted you then they will make sure they show their existence sometimes….in fear of losing you.

If he ghosted you due to lack of interest, he could have been doing you a favor. You did nothing, but sometimes the chemistry may not be there and the universe designs it. (It’s called mutual connection.)

Not to mention that sometimes you are blinded by illusions (believing he is amazing when he hasn’t even done amazing things for you; so instead you are just imagining what it would be like and falling for a daydream. Women do this all the time when they get too excited too soon and it leads to getting hurt. Be careful..move step by step…that’s why they call it ‘building a relationship.)

When you are in the early stage don’t start daydreaming about the future yet. If he was never in a relationship with you then save your energy for someone that’s worth deserving of it. If he treats you like an option and never a priority then you have an answer. Save yourself some time and use this time to heal and regrow…regrow like green grass. (Just watch out for snakes 😚🐍)

Men See You How You SEE Yourself. So Work On You

If you want a man to treat you like a queen, I believe you must already see yourself as a queen and already see yourself as class. I am in my 30s and I didn’t realize this secret until my mid 20s. Lol I would be like, “why am I getting treated like I am less?” Because I was always so nice to give more than I was giving. In other words, “settling” and not realizing I was worthy. When people see you DON’T act worthy of yourself, they will feel they don’t have to put in much effort.

It’s all about how you treat yourself for them to know what kind of woman they are dealing with. You don’t even have to tell men what makes you happy sometimes, but it’s obvious by how you carry yourself.

If they offer you something you don’t want to do yet (for example, have sex on the first night and not go on a date) then you just have to go with your gut on how you truly feel, not his.

Going with your gut will get you further and more respect. More respect will give you better treatment, attention and better dates instead of booty calls. I try to preach this to women/young women all the time. If you settle for little then you will receive little in return.

If you know you want more in a relationship, then stop giving in to what you aren’t happy with. Let’s say he wants to you to meet him at his place for Netflix and chill, but deep down you want more than that. You want nice dinners, gifts and walks on the beach, meet his family, selfies and warm phone calls etc. However, you think telling him that will run him away so you settle for his way , right?

I believe if you put value on yourself then you’ll be respected more. Would you feel proud receiving a diamond if it were $20.00 or if it were $20,000.00? Immediatly, you wouldn’t care much about the diamond if the price was $15.00, but if you paid $20,000.00 for it then I’m sure you’d treat it like a child. You’d take extra care of it and would go crazy if something happened to it, right?

That is how I feel us women should see ourselves ….like something valuable and worthy. 💎 When we feel that way about who we are then others will too. Never settle to be treated like a $3.00 value meal when you’re a full course meal. You have so much to offer….you are NOT a snack.

ReNita XOXO 💋