He’s Just Not That Into You..or He’s Just That Intimidated, Sis!

20200607_035215

Hey you. Yeah you. The one sobbing and crying constantly checking your phone to see if you have a miss call or a text. You’ve already sent him 3 messages before he has even responded. You’re checking his page constantly and seeing whose photos he’s liking as you dwell in self pity. Okay. STOP IT! Pull yourself together and let it go like Elsa.. (Insert cheesy song from Disney’s Frozen here __________.)

Women go into overthinking mode and an ego reduction once they feel a guy has lost interest or has pulled away. Maybe it’s not you, maybe it’s him, maybe it’s you or…maybe he’s just intimadated. Have you ever thought of that? Men are very nervous at times and they don’t show it. I have had this happened to me in 2011; especially where some guys used to ghost me. The weird thing was that they even told me they felt intimadated because I was beautiful or was an author.

Total opposite and confusing right? 🙄

It seems backwards, right? Yes I know. I would think that being beautiful and doing something that showcased my talent wasn’t anything to make anyone scared; but sometimes it does. (For the scary guys who were afraid of chances, yeah.) So before you rest your head on your tear soaked pillow self sabotaging yourself, keep in mind that THAT could be a reason as to why your knight in shining armour ghosted you. (or has pulled away.) Sometimes people have things going on in their lives, but if they wanted you then they will make sure they show their existence sometimes….in fear of losing you.

If he ghosted you due to lack of interest, he could have been doing you a favor. You did nothing, but sometimes the chemistry may not be there and the universe designs it. (It’s called mutual connection.)

Not to mention that sometimes you are blinded by illusions (believing he is amazing when he hasn’t even done amazing things for you; so instead you are just imagining what it would be like and falling for a daydream. Women do this all the time when they get too excited too soon and it leads to getting hurt. Be careful..move step by step…that’s why they call it ‘building a relationship.)

When you are in the early stage don’t start daydreaming about the future yet. If he was never in a relationship with you then save your energy for someone that’s worth deserving of it. If he treats you like an option and never a priority then you have an answer. Save yourself some time and use this time to heal and regrow…regrow like green grass. (Just watch out for snakes 😚🐍)

Dear Future Hubby, Here Is What You Should Know Before Meeting My Parents…

20200604_113842Dear Future Husband, (lol)

 Being a woman that has caught the bouquet in her sister’s wedding, I have decided to take notes for you. With that being said, you must know a background on my parents. Lol In order to marry me, you have to go through my parents first. Actually, go through my father first before asking me (according to my mom..because they say it’s respectful lol)

Here are some tips. (He is a grumpy old man and he asks questions back to back; sometimes before you have a chance to answer.) The way that I get on his good side is by letting him win debates or telling him he is right just so he’ll shut up lol 🤦‍♀️ He is from the ancient times and doesn’t know much about technology either.

*1. He admires guys that work hard and if you love sports cars and baseball, it’s a plus. Long ago, I only had 2 guys got meet my father  and one did not click with him lol

One guy tried to bring up football and my father cut him off 😂 He was like, “Oh nope. I’m into baseball and basketball. I don’t watch a lot of football unless it’s superbowl.” 🤦‍♀️😂 (The guy was so embarassed lol)

My mom is usually the first one and my dad is for when things are really serious.. So I usually wait before letting anyone meet him…  

*2. If you have a degree or have served in the military he likes that too. He is impressed with hard work and education. He likes that my brother in law is good with computers and graduated the top of his class at USC. So if you’re smart too, that’s a big plus. He admires hardworkers and providers. He believes men should be the head of the house.

As for my mom, she is the sweet one. If you can sweet talk her and show her that you care about me then she welcomes you with open arms. She loves baking and cooking, so to win her over, you need to know some good recipies or love to eat her amazing meals. If you can brag on her cooking then she goes crazy. Lol 😂

I often ponder on what it will be like when I am asked to be married. My parents are very old fashioned and I would love their acceptance and blessing for a healthy marriage. What are your thoughts when it comes to meeting parents or being introduced? As for me, I’m a nervous wreck. 😂 (but it’a a good thing.)

Sincerely,

Your Future Bride 👰🏾

20200604_121033

Is Your Bae’s Actions Loud Or Muted?

img_0008 I get so many emails from people I do tarot readings for asking me, Why is he doing this?Why is he doing that? Is he still into me? Honestly you don’t need a psychic to answer that question. The proof is right there. If someone is making you question them and you’re not getting clarity then just save yourself time, heal, keep to yourself. and inhale. exhale. move on. Step away.

It may seem hard to do but it’s all you can do for your sanity. If they want you then they will be there when you leave; if not then you have a clear answer. Some answers don’t need verbalism. Words can mean more if action is put behind them.

As an author, I believe actions and words should both go hand in hand. I am not my best at expressing myself with verbal words as I am with written words and my action. ACTIONS ARE IMPORTANT THOUGH! Even if a woman plays hard to get her actions of interest and being flirty is still there.

I think the longest it ever took me to move on from someone was probably 9 months.  I remember I wasted time and tears trying to figure them out and questioning myself. I can remember holding back on my dating life because I was still being hopeful for someone who portrayed little action for me. It was torture and pain and time wasted, which is why I think the smartest thing a confused person should do is move on or just take some space.. (before it gets worse and ruins your esteem.)  You’re in a confused rut trying to match someone’s actions with their words and it isn’t on the same wave length lol So hopefully you won’t torture yourself and blame yourself.

You deserve the same amount of energy in return as you put out. You will see how much easier it will be. You will find these 2 answers; either they’ll express their actions or they give you words to hang on to..like a puppet’s string..controlling you.

Each day is a new chapter and a new page to write. You’ll never know who you may meet or how better it could be. Don’t hold on to just figuring out. What are the actions saying?

 

 

I’m A Flower Still Waiting To Be Given Flowers…

be83338327115740a5dd7d306d2377bf-2

💐Okay so I can imagine all the weird facial expressions that people would give me when I told them I’ve never received flowers from a man before. I’ve had people tell me, “Yeah right. You lying!” but honestly I’m not. sips tea ☕😂 By the way, tulips are my favorite flowers. 😊 So I guess I’m just a bit old fashioned, huh? I love nice things, but the little gestures means so much. Receiving a text that says “Good morning baby, good morning queen.”  is the closest thing to receiving flowers sometimes.

The feeling of importance and being on someone’s thoughts is just like virtually handing me flowers. I get all giggly and roll around in bed whenever I’d receive a morning text. I can only imagine what it will be like when I am gifted flowers 😂. Sigh. When dating, I never ask a man because I wait to see if he will so I am waiting 😂 (or hinting. Lol)

Not sure if men still think flowers are a sweet gesture because times have changed. I love flowers because I enjoy gardening and growing flowers. Flowers remind me of a beautiful woman that’s rare to find. They should be cared for and nurtured, they’re delicate and they attract bees and butterflies (just like women attract men and are pursued.)

The sight and smell of flowers always uplifts my mood and they are so naturally beautiful within and out. It’s amazing how something created from God can grow from the earth and just be a simple expression to save a relationship at times. Not many women care about flowers as much as I do, I’m told. I was told that some men don’t believe in giving flowers anymore because they think all women want material things. 

 What I am saying is, while I don’t mind being spoiled, a bouquet of flowers makes me happy. 😊 I know I could have just asked guys and had them given to me, but I don’t want to to ask for special moments like that. I want whom ever I’m with to just surprise me and catch me off guard. I love surprises!! 😊 I used to feel like a misfit because so many girls and women have already experienced that moment and here I am at age 34 still awaiting like a 15 year old at a sleepover ; giggling about what her first kiss will be like lol

The good thing about it is that who ever gives me my flowers will be the first, making him someone to stand out than anyone from my past. 😊

I’ve had guys tell me they would have given me flowers but it was usually the ones I wasn’t interested in lol (topsy turvy, huh?) lol My best friend told me that his girlfriend is 35 and that he was the first to give her flowers. Everyone has their season or flower season. Everyone has their once in a life time moment that happens on it’s own without force.

I remember thinking, how is it that they call me I’m beautiful but I haven’t received flowers yet? I’d be thinking, ‘Is there something wrong with me?’ Hahaha but no, there is nothing wrong with me and I don’t want any other woman to feel that way either. I see it as God holding off on that moment so the man meant for me will show off. God saves things that are meant to be special for you for the special person and at the special time. Just as when you have to wait until Christmas to open your amazing gifts, it will feel more special. I have a bucket list of things I am still waiting to do that I haven’t experienced yet with a man and I know it’s a sign from God that those moments will be shared with the one I may marry …making it the best!!!!😉

So raise your glasses and make a toast 🥂 for knowing that your inexperience is a gift awaiting to be unwrapped. ..

For the moment, see yourself as a flower awaiting to be sniffed by a handsome and rare bee. 🌺🐝

Seperate The Body From The Mind* Words From A Sapiosexual.*


I love my body, but my body and my mind are 2 different things. lol One is just flesh and one is who I am. I have only fell my hardest for one or two men that never seemed like they were just trying to date my shell (my body) The slower you try not the rush the more I build attraction for you. My shell is something that will turn into ashes one day..I just make sure I take care of it to the upmost while I am alive. My soul is soooo amazing and interesting. 🙂 It’s also why I’m so picky. I am a sapiosexual. If you are attractive, I have to be even more attracted to your mind. I fall for mental connection. You want me for what’s inside or you want me for what’s both on the inside and the out? ❤

Ladies, Start Your Self Love Journey: THIS IS MY STORY..THE GOOD AND THE BAD OF HOW I GOT TO WHERE I AM ❤

Women always ask me how do I manage self love and confidence. Girl, it took me some years! 🙂 Lol I was NEVER EVER as confident as I am today. I grew up as a energetic child always having fun and competing in pageants, school plays and played softball. I was a creative child who always received support from my family so that is where the root of my confidence started. This is why it’s important to support and encourage children so they can grow up always having a passion to acheive.

In junior high school, I would always get bullied and it would lower some of my confidence. This is why it’s important to be around positive or friendly people.

My REAL self love journey started in 2012 after surviving a 2005 sexual assault incident while in college; which would lead to self abuse in my early 20s. Although I would accomplish so many great things, it would steal so much of the confidence I grew up with. I would think it was impossiable to get it all back. So this is what I did. It took me 7 full years to recover from mental pain and then another 7 years to re build my self love. It took me 14 years to get to where I am today. :O

I am thankful that I am also able to inspire other women and preach about the importance of loving yourself and knowing yourself.  Just bc you say someone is beautiful and you might be hating on them, you don’t know their story. lol You don’t know what they went through. I believe some of the greatest people are the ones that survived the storms and did amazing things afterwards. Never let your trials defeat you. I challenge you to focus on repairing from your pain and then start a self love journey. ❤ Not everyone is perfect. Trust 💯 If I can do it, you can do it.
-ReNita XOXO 💋

Be Thankful For The Little Things, Especially Your Family.

It’s the Sunday the week of Thanksgiving and I am listening to my family members laugh and tell jokes. (Although it isn’t Thanksgiving yet, it feels that way with the family atmosphere 🙂 Every time we are all together it feels like a holiday gathering. ) Sometimes people get annoyed with family or have arguments with family; which is normal, but you should still be thankful you have them with you. I am not saying ALL family members are there for you or good to you, but the ones you have a bond with that you sometimes run into little quarrels with. You should always remember to never take them for granted. Don’t take little arguments and grudges so seriously.

Things that could have been handled can lead to forgiveness and forgiveness leads to recovery. Recovery paves the way to turn over a new page and start over anew. So many people are dying and they never got a chance to end on good terms because of minor problems. When you are thankful for little things (such as hearing the laughter of family in the living room, being able to have senses, being thankful to see how far you’ve come etc) then you’ve mastered power for motivation. When you are thankful, you become motivated and when you become motivated you are able to put a super hero cape on.

I am thankful for life, family, shelter, food and looking back on how far I’ve come. If you are not thankful for what you have, always remember that there are people who probably wish they had the things you care less about. Count your little blessings and be thankful. 🙂

Hold on to them.

Grab them.

ReNita XOXO

You Want To Be Loved, But Have No Self Love…

You can tell if a woman loves herself or not based off what she settles for in life. I can tell plenty of stories back from my early 20s and give examples below lol
*I remember when I was 22 yrs old, I took a risk to see my ex bf in D.C with only $10.00 in my pocket…I didn’t think about my safety. So therefore I didn’t love myself bc the only thing I cared about was him over myself. 
*I used to do a guy’s paper in college thinking he’d like me more while my grades slipped.
I used to buy gifts for guys who never bought me anything, but bc I wanted them to like me.
*I would catch buses to visit a boyfriend when my mom would beg me not to go and she was crying. I still went..only for him to leave me by myself in a hotel room. I came home telling my mom she was right.
Don’t give your valuable body to someone who doesn’t deserve how worthy you are. That’s like  giving diamonds to a dollar store.

If you take these type of risks when you are in a relationship..then you are not in love. You are attached and that is different than a connection. You will know the difference later. ❤ Love yourself and you will be wise enough to know what type of treatment is best and what isn’t. You will see the difference.