You See Their Rainbows,🌈 But Maybe They’ve Had Storms…. ⛈

Sometimes people will hate on you for no reason before they know your whole story. Lol WELL….I’m not perfect. My body was never as fit. My skin isn’t that perfect (I’m just a genius with how to do makeup lol) Sometimes I talk so fast you may not understand me but I love it.  I was never the person I am now. I went thru some deeeep hell during the ages 18-23 so I don’t even know how I survived. God and His angels had to have got me through so mucg.  If you hate on someone (or maybe throw shade) please stop and think for a second and maybe be happy for them. You may not even know what they had to go through before they got blessed. You may not know how many jobs turned them down before they got that promotion. Maybe they got their license late in life before they got a Camaro  *hint hint* You may not know what they been through before they got that wedding ring 
I heard this girl tell me, “Renita I don’t be seein how you do so much and look so good with all you have going on. You’re an author and you started some businesses.”

I was flattered but girl, I learned a lot. I’m a student of life but now I’m the teacher. For one, if you want to be happy in life you have to learn to be happy by depending on happiness with yourself…know thyself..then you can be happy with someone …bc it’s healthier that way.  Never feel like you can’t be happy UNLESS you have someone. Be happy to share your happiness WITH someone but already be happy and work on you.  If you want to be successful then you need a plan, you need effort and to follow through. Learn to save some money and be wise.

Love you, 🥰
Renita XOXO

Live It Like Lizzo! 💌

I’m a big Lizzo fan..I jam to Truth Hurts every weekend!!! I LOVE HER!! ❤ lol I wish I had more friends with her personality and coolness. She seems like someone I could hang out with and laugh with.

I see so many people say they wish they had her confidence like she can’t be confident because she’s a full figured woman lol I see it as normal because she loves herself and when you love yourself you’re confident no matter the body type. You’re so into yourself because you don’t limit yourself based off the judgement of others.
(You aren’t here to please them.)

There are many men who prefer only larger women. 10 years ago, I remember a guy cheated on me with a fuller sized girl and he was skinnier than I was lol So we need to stop thinking just because someone is a certain size that it means they can’t do or have what others can have…anyone can have confidence.

When it comes to health matters, however, I believe it should be taken seriously. No matter what, slim or fluffy, your confidence should already be there.

Inhale. Exhale. Just Stop. Just Breathe. 🧘‍♀️🌞🧘‍♀️

This is sooo me!

Yoga was great this morning. One of my favorite things to do. When I do yoga I don’t worry about anything else. It’s my happy place. I always feel like I’m in a spa; especially when I tap in my favorite chakra. Yoga gets me high (naturally lol) and it is just as good as coffee. *sips Starbucks ☕

The most important thing to do is to breatheeee. I see each breath as a gift. It’s amazing how we have been breathing since the day we were born and that our heart has been beating non stop since we were in the wombs of our mothers.

It’s ashame that people take life for granted. Today I encourage you to be thankful for air. Be thankful for life. Be thankful to have a mind that you can balance and relax.

Namaste 🧘‍♀️

Yes, But Are You Working On You Prior To A Relationship?

2010.. This is 24 year old me! 🙂 If I could re-live my 20s again and start over I would. I accomplished a lot, but I felt like I wasted time focusing on things/people that were less important. See, in your 20s, you’re suppose to be enjoying life and be stress free. You’re suppose to be planning the future, living in the present and learning/growing from the past.

Sure, I accomplished a lot in my 20s, but I wasn’t really living. I felt I would have been way ahead in my 20s had I not let things distract me. At this age, I had finally moved on from my 2005 sexual assault that occured in college at the age of 18. I was also 2 years free of self abuse.

I was happy in this photo because I was with my family, but behind this smile I was going home to in an unhealthy relationship. An unstable relationship where I was being taken for granted; giving my all for so little and putting myself last. I was half way into loving myself again, but little did I know I needed space and time to work on me. I needed to know what self worth meant along side of self love.

In order to do that, I needed balance after full recovery from my past. I didn’t start going in full effect of my self love journey until 2012. I had to end that unhealthy relationship to recover, build self love and understand self worth. After following that, I become a better version of myself; it is who I became today.

So before you enter into a new relationship or anything in 2020, make sure you have had enough time to work on you. It took me 7-9 years to be this much in love with myself. I have the strength of Wonder Woman! (*grabs super hero cape and soars into the air!🦸‍♀️)

Men See You How You SEE Yourself. So Work On You

If you want a man to treat you like a queen, I believe you must already see yourself as a queen and already see yourself as class. I am in my 30s and I didn’t realize this secret until my mid 20s. Lol I would be like, “why am I getting treated like I am less?” Because I was always so nice to give more than I was giving. In other words, “settling” and not realizing I was worthy. When people see you DON’T act worthy of yourself, they will feel they don’t have to put in much effort.

It’s all about how you treat yourself for them to know what kind of woman they are dealing with. You don’t even have to tell men what makes you happy sometimes, but it’s obvious by how you carry yourself.

If they offer you something you don’t want to do yet (for example, have sex on the first night and not go on a date) then you just have to go with your gut on how you truly feel, not his.

Going with your gut will get you further and more respect. More respect will give you better treatment, attention and better dates instead of booty calls. I try to preach this to women/young women all the time. If you settle for little then you will receive little in return.

If you know you want more in a relationship, then stop giving in to what you aren’t happy with. Let’s say he wants to you to meet him at his place for Netflix and chill, but deep down you want more than that. You want nice dinners, gifts and walks on the beach, meet his family, selfies and warm phone calls etc. However, you think telling him that will run him away so you settle for his way , right?

I believe if you put value on yourself then you’ll be respected more. Would you feel proud receiving a diamond if it were $20.00 or if it were $20,000.00? Immediatly, you wouldn’t care much about the diamond if the price was $15.00, but if you paid $20,000.00 for it then I’m sure you’d treat it like a child. You’d take extra care of it and would go crazy if something happened to it, right?

That is how I feel us women should see ourselves ….like something valuable and worthy. 💎 When we feel that way about who we are then others will too. Never settle to be treated like a $3.00 value meal when you’re a full course meal. You have so much to offer….you are NOT a snack.

ReNita XOXO 💋

They Want To See You Lose..Why Give Up?

I went to bed early and here I am now, up at 10 minutes to 4am because my dog needed to tinkle and so did I. Before dawn, it dawned on me. I notice so many people give up on things in life and when they do, sometimes they get more reaction from others than if it were something positive. Why is that? I ask myself. Because some people (not all) will feel comfort in seeing the struggle of others. They actually use it as a reason to gossip about you and laugh if they are envious of you. As nasty as that sounds, it’s true. Whenever you complain about your life, just know that you are giving motivation to the haters. Seeking sympathy from the whole world only makes you seem weak. Sometimes people use the weakness from others as their strength.

If you started a goal and then gave up because your relationship didn’t work out, you are being controlled into losing. If you tell everyone how much you hate life instead of seeing the good in it, you are going to push the right people away and bring in the company of other miserable people. (Misery loves company.) They want to see you lose…why give up? Defeat the enemy with ambition in yourself and when you do, you will be glad at all you have accomplished.

-ReNita XOXO

Ladies, Start Your Self Love Journey: THIS IS MY STORY..THE GOOD AND THE BAD OF HOW I GOT TO WHERE I AM ❤

Women always ask me how do I manage self love and confidence. Girl, it took me some years! 🙂 Lol I was NEVER EVER as confident as I am today. I grew up as a energetic child always having fun and competing in pageants, school plays and played softball. I was a creative child who always received support from my family so that is where the root of my confidence started. This is why it’s important to support and encourage children so they can grow up always having a passion to acheive.

In junior high school, I would always get bullied and it would lower some of my confidence. This is why it’s important to be around positive or friendly people.

My REAL self love journey started in 2012 after surviving a 2005 sexual assault incident while in college; which would lead to self abuse in my early 20s. Although I would accomplish so many great things, it would steal so much of the confidence I grew up with. I would think it was impossiable to get it all back. So this is what I did. It took me 7 full years to recover from mental pain and then another 7 years to re build my self love. It took me 14 years to get to where I am today. :O

I am thankful that I am also able to inspire other women and preach about the importance of loving yourself and knowing yourself.  Just bc you say someone is beautiful and you might be hating on them, you don’t know their story. lol You don’t know what they went through. I believe some of the greatest people are the ones that survived the storms and did amazing things afterwards. Never let your trials defeat you. I challenge you to focus on repairing from your pain and then start a self love journey. ❤ Not everyone is perfect. Trust 💯 If I can do it, you can do it.
-ReNita XOXO 💋

So What If They Don’t Support You? Don’t Wait On Their Approval! KEEP GOING!

Sometimes I see my friends on social media acknowledge that no one supports them. While getting a positive boost and self fulfillment from others on our accomplishments is a good thing, we shouldn’t rely on it. I feel you shouldn’t rely on this action because it isn’t healthy. Some people don’t get support and then back out of something they have their hearts set on doing. This is confirmation that you should STILL keep going.

The longer you keep doing things, the support will come later because you get better and better. You will know who is true for you and who isn’t. Even if they don’t support you, they still can admire you and are inspired by you but are probably too jealous to let you see that lol (I know, right?) Sometimes people won’t support you, because they want you to lose. What do you do? YOU STILL KEEP PUSHING YOURSELF! Like, why determine the actions of others for your life?

The number one person that should be supporting you is yourself. Not many people have supported me or congratulated me on things I have done, but I STILL made it on top. As long as I know I did something GREAT for myself that’s all that matters. The praise from others will follow behind you if you keep going forward and looking ahead. That doesn’t mean you have to call them out about it or stop what you are doing.

You should be supporting yourself first of all and clap for yourself. If people aren’t supporting you, sometimes you should see it as a compliment that maybe they are jealous. Most of the time, people will support those they admire or support those they know. If they are jealous of you, they will be too intimidated to support you or too lazy to support you. Some people are having problems in their own life and are too unhappy to praise the blessings of others.

Waiting for their support is like waiting for their approval and when you wait for their approval you are under their control. Waiting for the support of others feels as though you want to impress them before impressing yourself. When you are supporting yourself first, you are at a point of self love and you will attract the right crowd that are true supporters and friends.

I have done many things in my life that are big accomplishments that I am proud of. Many people have supported and many people haven’t, but you have to keep going and be your own #1 support system.

You Want To Be Loved, But Have No Self Love…

You can tell if a woman loves herself or not based off what she settles for in life. I can tell plenty of stories back from my early 20s and give examples below lol
*I remember when I was 22 yrs old, I took a risk to see my ex bf in D.C with only $10.00 in my pocket…I didn’t think about my safety. So therefore I didn’t love myself bc the only thing I cared about was him over myself. 
*I used to do a guy’s paper in college thinking he’d like me more while my grades slipped.
I used to buy gifts for guys who never bought me anything, but bc I wanted them to like me.
*I would catch buses to visit a boyfriend when my mom would beg me not to go and she was crying. I still went..only for him to leave me by myself in a hotel room. I came home telling my mom she was right.
Don’t give your valuable body to someone who doesn’t deserve how worthy you are. That’s like  giving diamonds to a dollar store.

If you take these type of risks when you are in a relationship..then you are not in love. You are attached and that is different than a connection. You will know the difference later. ❤ Love yourself and you will be wise enough to know what type of treatment is best and what isn’t. You will see the difference.

Fix Another Queen’s Crown 👑

I like making women feel good about their appearance and being helpful to uplift their confidence. I feel if we do this, maybe the world will be free of haters because we’ll be inspiring each other when we help each other. Maybe I’m just too nice. 🤷‍♀️ I’ve never had any interest in being a hater or putting other women down. I would often wonder if that meant I was not normal lol I’m always admiring or being motivated by women that are doing great things or looking amazing.

I was telling a very sweet woman how I lost weight because she couldn’t believe I was over 200lbs last year. Yesterday, this cashier in WalMart wanted to know how I defined my eyebrows. I was holding up the line going into detail to show her how I do my brows and what I use. They were both very thankful for the information I gave them.

Never hold back from educating other queens on health and beauty, they may not know much of it or afraid to ask. Everyone deserves to look and feel beautiful. No woman shouldn’t feel insecure about her appearance. Take care of yourself 100% and help another queen blossom.